Both my children slept through the night at five months. By all night, I mean twelve hours.
*Update: This routine has now worked for all three of my kids!
I’m no super mom and I don’t know everything about parenting, but I will share with you what worked to help my babies sleep through the night in only one weekend. There’s a built in bonus here too- if they’re sleeping all night long, you are too! Any parent of small children knows just how rewarding and exhausting it is to love on our littles all day.
Before we even get started, do yourself a favor and establish a bedtime routine to help your baby sleep through the night. When your child knows what to expect every night and becomes accustomed to the same routine, he will make the transition to sleeping through the night easier. Bonus: make sure baby’s nursery stays dark during the night.
Get ready, this one’s a long post!
Move your baby out of your bedroom. This one is optional, but from experience, it is much less emotionally draining on parents to have baby in his own room when helping baby sleep through the night. My firstborn moved to her own room at one month. My son still slept in my bedroom during sleep training, and boy was it ever difficult to hear him cry for the first couple of nights. Yes, I said cry. We’re going to loosely employ Baby Wise techniques.
Prepare yourself. In order for this technique to work, you have to be consistent. You have to go all-in and be willing to deal with baby’s crying for a couple of nights. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. This will be difficult. You might even question yourself and consider backing out. Determine to succeed and you will.
Prepare your spouse. Be sure to go through this post together and discuss exactly what you’ll do when baby cries. You both have to be on board to help baby sleep through the night. Remember, consistency is key. If you’re breastfeeding, like I was, it is paramount that your husband understand his role before bedtime. Baby will not get a midnight snack, so you should definitely enlist your husband.
Tell him in advance what you and baby need from him. If I nudge my husband awake at midnight and tell him to do his thing when baby awakens, his half-asleep brain will only be able to follow routine if he knows what to do in advance. Twelve midnight is not an ideal time to go step-by-step through the baby sleep routine.
Choose a weekend. Help baby sleep through the night during a weekend or a time when you’re most relaxed and can possibly even fit in a catnap during the day. If you live in an apartment or have neighbors nearby, they might appreciate it too, since they are less likely to work on the weekends.
The routine is actually pretty simple, at least in theory. Carrying out the process and dealing with your emotions and physical detachment, now that’s another story. Now, let’s cut to the chase. Here’s what worked for me.
Asleep AT LAST! … or at least he will be when I finish this awesome post full of tips to help your baby sleep through the night! {Tweet this!}
Set a Date
You simply must plan ahead. I can’t stress this enough. Come into the sleep battlefield ready for VICTORY! Choose a day to start and stick with it.
Night Night Your Baby
Bathe him, swaddle him, feed him, diaper him- do all those necessary things in your typical bedtime routine to make sure baby is 100% comfortable to go to bed. Put him to bed as usual.
Comfort Baby
If baby awakens during the night, as we’re assuming he will or you wouldn’t be reading this, send your husband or another non-lactating family member to tend to baby. Have him comfort baby without picking him up from the crib. Caress his soft little cheeks, stroke his hair, or sing a short lullaby. Do whatever it is that soothes your baby but do it in under a minute and then leave the room or go back to bed. Baby will most likely cry. We expect this, we don’t fear it or worry baby is starving, feeling unloved, or needing an extra bedtime story. We soothe him and let him be.
I realize that the opponents to Baby Wise, upon which I base my general sleep training technique, won’t agree with letting baby cry. I get that. I do. My own mother-in-law stayed with us in the first weeks after my son was born and purposefully scheduled herself to be out of the house during nap time because she knew she’d have to hear a bit of baby wailing and her heart just couldn’t bear it. Every family is different. Every baby has different needs. I just know this worked for my daughter and son, that’s all.
Hit the Sack
Go back to bed and get some rest. If baby continues to cry, set a time limit to wait before heading back to the crib to comfort baby again without picking him or her up. Generally, it’s best to increase the time increments by ten to fifteen minutes each visit. For example, you wait for 15 minutes the first time you go in to soothe baby, 30 minutes the second, 30-45 the third, and so on. Run through the same soothing technique as before and then head out of the room or back to your own bed. Again, set a time limit that you’re comfortable with to let baby cry before going in again. You will continue this same technique all night long, if necessary. Let’s hope that baby catches on quick, right?!
In my experience, both my children cried for about 45 minutes when they woke (once) during the first night. At the time we chose to sleep train them, they were only waking once in the middle of the night, so we only had to deal with the cry-soothe visits for about hour. That second night when the crying lasts only 30 minutes you’ll be giving yourself a pat on the back.
My daughter took three consecutive nights of sleep training to completely sleep through with no waking. She cried 45 minutes the first night, 30 the second, and just small fits for about 15 minutes the third night. The fourth night we were home free!
My son took a few extra days to get his sleep figured out. He cried for around 45 minutes the first two nights and 15 to 30 for two or three nights after that until he finally settled into sleeping 12 hours straight. It took about 5 days with him. Five days to an entire babyhood and toddlerhood of restful nights is worth it in my book. This mama needs her rest and I know my babies do too.
That’s that- how I used Baby Wise techniques to get my babies to sleep through the night. I’d love to hear what you did to help your children get to sleep when they were little. I know that I’m not the only mom who’s all ears for just about any parenting advice that comes her way- especially if it has to do with sleep and potty training.
Share below in the comments and feel free to link up your own parenting tips and tricks down there. I’m especially hungry for toddler discipline tips right about now. Go ahead, link it up!
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Great post, I can use these tips myself and pass them along to a few expecting mothers I know. #SITSblogging
Jamila, I hope the tips come in handy for you. As hard as it might be to hear baby cry for a few minutes, the payoff is well-worth it. Instead of hearing crying every night to get up and feed baby, you’ll hear it for a few days and then never again except for when they’re sick, teething, or some other extraordinary circumstance. Thank you so much for visiting me today.
These are fantastic tips. I don’t have any children but I babysit my godchildren often and these are totally going to come in handy!
I sure hope it works for you, Jen. Kids and sleeping are tricky, and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do know what worked for me and hope it also keeps your godchildren sleeping peacefully all night long. Thank you for visiting!
Wow. Usually I agree with all your parenting ideas, but on this one we are almost polar opposites! However, I noticed something early in your post:
Any parent of small children knows just how rewarding and exhausting it is to love on our littles all day.
While I sort of know what you mean, I was only with my child all day every day for the first 12 weeks. Once I went back to work, I treasured the connection with him that we had from co-sleeping. I also felt that I slept quite well with him because I didn’t have to wake completely to nurse. Sure, there were times when I was eager for him to go to sleep because I was tired or had other things to do, but I never felt that I used up all my love for him during the day. I remember when I was a preschooler feeling that my parents quit loving me at bedtime, and that was very painful and frightening.
Here’s our approach to baby sleep, for those who are interested in considering alternatives.
Oops! I meant to say, I think my different attitude toward bedtime has a lot to do with the fact that I was NOT burned out by being with my baby all day, so my intention is not to judge you for feeling that way, because I haven’t experienced it myself.
Also, that it’s important for parents who work outside the home, especially nursing moms, to take into account that separation from our babies when we are deciding whether to separate from them at night as well.
You make a great point, Becca! Although I’ve only got experience as a semi-SAHM, it makes perfect sense that co-sleeping and/or waiting a little longer to expect your child to sleep through would be ideal for moms (and dads) who work outside the house. Having that one-on-one time is uber important, and whether you have it by staying up a little later with baby, co-sleeping, or spending the daytime with the kids, the key is that special parent-child connection- not necessarily how/when/where you get it, right? Thank you so much for linking to your own sleep post. I’ll be heading over to check it out! Have a super week, Becca.
I did miss this one! We did almost exactly this! I love baby wise and feel like you don’t have to let them cry it out or co-sleep.. there is an in between. We went in every 10 minutes and it only took 2 nights for my son to sleep through the night! I think we deserve to SLEEP and so do our kids! And you are right about the sleep topic! I have worried to address it on my blog because it is such a hot button topic! Good for you girl! Love what you are doing!
Two nights to sleeping through the night?! That’s wonderful to hear! I’m so happy to get another positive feedback comment about the technique. I’m a big fan of Baby Wise, though I didn’t even get the book until my second child was almost here. I read all about it on blogs and picked up the general ideas. You’re so right about not having to adopt co-sleeping or cry-it-out in order to implement the basics of Baby Wise. Thank you so much for stopping back to share your experience, Jennie!
Such great tips! The key here is “non-lactating family member.” 🙂 You are so right about that. This is what we did too, but we waited a little longer to do it. And it was hard…I should’ve done it sooner, but there were extenuating circumstances such as recurring ear infections and reflux, so I wasn’t comfortable letting baby cry it out when there could be other problems going on. But when we did finally bite the bullet, this is how we did it…and it worked. Three nights.
Awesome, Gabby! Three nights is great. I got three with my daughter and a couple “bonus” nights with my son, but definitely worth it. Glad to hear you had a similar success using that basic technique. Thank you for the feedback!
My son is 14 months old and still in my bed. I can’t let him cry himself to sleep. It feels cruel and breaks my heart.
Maybe one day…
It’s certainly not for everyone. Enjoy those cuddles, Tami! Thank you for stopping by this week.
This is a great post! It’s very similar how we approached our babies sleeping through the night. I will say, it got harder as we had more children. I don’t know why, but I definitely waited longer before letting them cry. It’s a tough subject to write about because so many people have differing opinions on the topic. I think you did a great job with it. 🙂
Thanks, Caroline. It is definitely a touchy topic and probably the boldest post I’ve written to date. I tried to make it clear that this isn’t for everyone, but certainly was helpful for my family. I can see how it would get harder with each child- especially once you reach what might be your last baby and long for those cuddles at nighttime, knowing you they’ll be the last baby cuddles. Thank you for visiting today.
Non-lactating family member! That’s what we’ve been doing wrong! Guess I need to enlist my husband to assist this weekend, so far it’s just been me trying to settle him, and he never actually settles so eventually I just cave and feed him. Thanks for the post! Our LO is 6 months old now and is going crazy rolling all over during the night then screaming bloody murder when he can’t roll back the other way. Any advice on rolling? 🙂
Be sure to give your husband extra hugs, Stacey, when he goes on night duty. This method of getting baby to sleep works so well. I inquired of my own husband about your dilemma with the baby rolling over and crying. He suggested tucking pool noodles under the crib sheets tight up to baby’s sides to keep him from rolling over in the first place. It’s worth a try. Hope you’re all getting more sleep soon! (I know it’s not easy waking up half asleep in the mornings.)
I have been trying to get my son to sleep in his crib instead of my bed and so I really appreciate all of your advice. Thanks for sharing!
Sophie recently posted Best Crib Mattress
Sophie, sure hope this helps! It can be a challenge to transition children from one sleeping situation to another. You know, I think that you’d really benefit from reading this post too! Be sure to check it out if you have time.